New Year’s Revelation #4 of 7: Take the Scenic Route Always

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Ever stop and wonder whether it’s really, really necessary to rush about (almost manically, sometimes) each day – from point A to point B, zig-zagging through traffic to make that green light (which will inevitably turn red, just as you reach it, no matter how fast you drive), or chauffeuring the teenage kids (some of whom feel that they are entitled to parental limo service) to all their activities and social events?  

Do we often impose imaginary deadlines or unreasonable time limitations on ourselves?  Are we biting off more than we can chew? Or, more to the point, are  we over-scheduling ourselves and perhaps need a refresher course on how to manage our time more reasonably?

Most importantly, are we cheating ourselves of the simple, serene moments (so very necessary for the nourishment of mind, soul and body) — like stopping to marvel at someone’s beautiful front garden, slowing down the car to gaze at a breathtaking sunset, stepping out to frolic in the snow (we’re never too old for that!), or taking a nice evening stroll just after dinner. Let the teenagers carpool with one of their friend’s parents or – here’s a novel idea – tell them to take the bus! We did . Back in the day. And, incidentally,  we didn’t have cell phones back then, to call anyone in case of emergency. 

Again, I digress.

Here’s another heatherfromthegrove anecdote.  My husband rides a Harley (Fat Boy  — the motorcycle, that is, not my husband!).  I happily ride on the back of the Harley.  We both love it.  Riding, with the wind in our faces, well … the word that comes to mind is Freedom.  When we ride, we feel free.  It is the most exhilarating experience.  Yet, so many times, we’ve had to go places and he would ask me (every single time):  “Do you want to take the scenic route, or go the fast way?”  Often – too often – I answered  “The fast way.”  Why?  I felt some irrational need to hurry.  I was cheating myself.  My husband – a very, very sage man – knew that I was choosing the wrong path.  He would always ask the question twice – the second time, he’d say “Are you sure you don’t want to take the scenic route?” The implication of the second question went right over my head.  I was blinded by my own imaginary timing. 

It should be noted that whenever we took the scenic route, we would ride with grins from ear-to-ear.  Ahhhhhh …. the sights, smells, sounds…. simply delightful!  Then we’d stop for a bite to eat and enjoy each other’s company.  We took our time.  And,  the amazing thing was that we somehow managed to do all the things we had set out to do that day.  Imagine that! 

Fyi … now, we take the scenic route – every time.  Life is too short for compromises.

So, if you ever have to choose between taking the fastest route or the scenic route….. always, ALWAYS take the scenic route. 

You won’t be disappointed.

It appears that animals are often times more spiritually enlightened than we humans.  Below, Bacchus (my “son”) takes a moment to gaze at the scenery (Bear Creek Canyon in the Santa Cruz Mountains – Northern California).

New Year’s Revelation No.3 of 7: Say Goodbye to Regrets

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“Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.”                 − Sydney J. Harris

I have regrets. There are things I’ve said and done that I can’t undo.  I can say with certainty, however, that they were never words or actions made with mal-intent.  More often than not, they were a result of hasty actions and unsound judgement. 

I can’t change the past, but I have learned some very hard lessons. And although I cannot re-write history, I sure as hell won’t repeat history.

I believe that – at the end of each day – we should be able to look at ourselves in the mirror and look into our own eyes, unflinchingly.  That should be the goal of every man and woman.  If you can look deep into your own eyes, without wincing,  then you’ve lived through a day with complete authenticity – with no regrets.

I also believe that when we err (we are human and therefore subject to flaws, after all), we must learn from our mistakes and move on. Just as we should strive to forgive others, so should we try to forgive ourselves.

Ha! Forgiveness. Why is it always easier to forgive others, but not ourselves?  Do we hold ourselves to a higher standard than others? Are we too arrogant? Masochistic?   Too bull-headed?  Perhaps all of the above. But, forgive ourselves…we must.  Time will take care of the rest. 

As for myself, I will forgive … but I will never forget. 

And then there’s that other type of Regret, equally torturous to the soul – but for a completely different reason.  The regret of  “what might have been.”   This type of regret usually kicks us in the gut somewhere in the mid-forties and onwards (typically on milestone birthdays).

“If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world.”                         − Mercedes Lackey

I have very little patience for  the “woe is me” syndrome or people who use “bad luck” or “circumstances” as an excuse for not following their bliss.  Granted, sometimes life throws us some hard knocks. But, it’s how we choose to deal with these obstacles that will either steer us towards or away from our path – whatever that may be.

Choices. They make us or break us. Some are reversible, others are not.  And, sometimes we have to do some serious damage control (the fancy term for this is “crisis management”).

But, we all must remind ourselves this:  we (each of us) own our own lives.  Choose each path thoughtfully.  That way, you minimize the possibility of future regrets. Let me tell you a little story:

When I was young, I loved ballet, opera, theatre, music, and books. Always books.  Many (many) decades later, I still love ballet, opera, theatre, music, and books. Books are the things (inanimate) that I hold most dear. 

However, I never became a prima ballerina (although with my hips, I would have made a great belly dancer!).  My deepest fantasy has always been to dance with Mikhail Baryshnikov  and, alas, it is also my deepest regret that I never shall ….

I never  became another Maria Callas (although, I do irritate the hell out of my husband when I attempt to sing “Nessun Dorma” – full throttle).

I am no Meryl Streep (most definitely, no Angelina Jolie!).

I will never play the piano like Montréal jazz pianist Jamie Gelfand (he’s another brilliant talent who, like Lorena Gale,  attended Marianopolis College at the same time as myself).

Now, here’s where it gets interesting (at least for me…. you, on the other hand, may possibly be snoozing at this point…hope not!).  My old faithful friends — my books — have provided me with the inspiration, motivation, and deepest passion …. to write.

And so, I am a Writer.  This is my bliss.  Non, je ne regrette rien. (No, I regret nothing). I have become who I was meant to be and I love it all —the sleepless nights, the swollen feet (lack of circulation from sitting at the computer for ten hours straight), the angst, the critiques, the sheer joy of creating characters and scenarios and on and on…  .

So, please say goodbye to regrets. Follow your bliss. Don’t create imaginary roadblocks for yourself. Just do it. And love every minute of it.

Cheers,

h.f.t.g.

Image by/via Cyrus Mafi.

New Year’s Revelation No. 2 of 7: Pause and Take Note

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Time is an elusive mistress. She is fluid and in constant motion. I can’t stop her. You can’t. Nobody can.  Our journeys are intertwined. Often, we find ourselves so caught up with our day-to-day lives that we forget to savour the journey.  There is only one journey. Of the earthly sort, that is.  So please, please pause and take note.

People pass through our lives — sometimes only for a moment, a season or two, and – if we’re lucky – some remain a constant presence throughout our lives.  I am blessed. I have a good number of very special friends who have gone the distance with me.  Through ups and downs, through cycles of silence and silliness.  I was just on a video call with a pair of them today.

Lest there be any doubt or confusion, I hope they know that I  do cherish them. Enough said.

And then there are the people we meet and then never see again.  I received news today that gave me an unexpected jolt.  A person who I knew back in college – only for a season or two – had died, back in June 2009.  She lost her battle with abdominal cancer at the age of 51.  Her name was Lorena Gale.

This news made me pause and take note.

You see, sometimes people may have a major impact on our lives, despite knowing them only fleetingly.  Lorena and I attended the same college in Montréal — Marianopolis College.  That college was a phenomenal academic, social and cultural experience. It was pivotal for me.  It was when I started to have a voice of my own, hear it, and revel in it.  I decided to take Theatre – with a very brilliant, commanding (mercurial, more like) theatre professor (who didn’t suffer fools gladly) named Victor Garaway.  I walked into class, just as the upper class was finishing. That was when I heard a deep, resonating voice.  It was a voice that enunciated words with clarity, precision, and perfect tone. It was a voice that was destined for the Stage.  I looked up and around, expecting to see a statuesque woman in the prime of her life.  I was startled as I looked a few inches down from me (me: 5’4″, she: 4’11½”), only to see a teenager (one year older than myself) with big, expressive eyes, a quirky smile and skin the colour of burnished mahogany.  Her laugh, as she said “hi” to me, came right from the diaphragm.  It was hearty, strong and confident. It was, as I would soon learn, vintage Lorena Gale.

I knew then that she would be an Actor. I also knew that I would likely not, but that this theatre course would bring me out of my shell and into my own.  I was right — on both counts.

Lorena went on to study at the National Theatre School of Canada, as the first black woman ever accepted into the school.  Her illustrious acting career spanned well over 100 movies and shows – film and television. She was a director and a playwright.  A wife and a mother. A woman with a social conscience. And, most of all, she was a Canadian. From Montréal. And damned proud of it (as I am). 

I was always thrilled when I saw her on the big screen or on TV. I’d shout out and say “There’s Lorena!!”  I was happy for her and proud of her.  And I was deeply saddened today, when I heard that she had passed away.

So, tonight I shall pause and take note of everyone and everything around me.

And, Winky, I lift my glass of St. Emillion to you.

Lorena Gale (1958-2009)

(as Elosha in Battlestar Galactica)

Image (top) via  pickthebrain.com.

New Year’s Revelation No. 1 of 7: Simplicity

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As 2011 came to a close, I learned a valuable lesson (although – in theory – I knew it all along).  It’s a story about an oyster …. well, actually 36 oysters …. and celebrations-gone-awry …. . You’ll laugh, perhaps shake your head in disbelief, or roll your eyes in a “What-was-she-thinking?!” way. But, there is a moral to every story, and I will guide myself accordingly in 2012. Absolutely.

I like to do things somewhat “over the top.”  Those who know me well are snorting loudly with laughter as I write this (how rude!).  So, this is how my New Year’s Eve went:

AM – Tidied the garden (back front and side), went to the corner store to get sundries, then off to the local grocer to buy 24 mussels, a salmon filet, 24 oysters, chocolate-covered strawberries, and Veuve Clicquot Grande Dame. You may be wondering how many people was she having over for New Year’s Eve?  The answer: just me and The Husband.  My theory has always been to buy more, rather than less (that way, you won’t run out).  The natural question would be:  Why all that seafood?  Well, this was the plan:  make Oysters Rockefeller and Mussels Marinara for NYE and the salmon filet for NY Day.

And then the grocer told me that they didn’t have oysters (fyi … the salmon filet that I bought could feed a family of 6 and will last a few days…but, I digress….). “NO OYSTERS!” … exclaimed heatherfromthegrove (actually, more like a shriek, than an exclamation). The guy at the seafood counter shrugged his shoulders, completely unfazed that he just ruined my fantasy of an aphrodisiac-infused evening. 

PM – So, I went home with the mussels, salmon, strawberries and champagne and then called Whole Foods to verify that they indeed had oysters and that they would keep two dozen aside for me.  The time, at this point, was 2 pm.  I travelled to WF and lo, and behold, the seafood guru had the oysters set aside for me (only later did I realize that he added twelve more to the pack …. at my cost, of course!).  Always looking for the right tableware, I stopped by Z-Gallerie to get a platter for the oysters. I found a beautiful large faux-oyster shell that would be the perfect platter for my Oysters-bloody-Rockefeller!  I arrived home at 5 pm.

Because ambience is Everything, I had to spend the next 3 hours decorating — the house, front/side/back yard. This involved decorations, balloons (don’t ask!), and candles. 

At 8 pm, I commenced with the cooking.  But, first, I opened a bottle of champagne (not the Grande Dame, which was reserved for midnight).  As I sipped, I prepared the Rockefeller filling, thinking the oysters would be a breeze. 

Note:  I had never cooked oysters before.

At this point, you are probably wondering “Where is The Husband?”  Immersed in his work on the computer, completely ignoring me as I proceeded to take the holiday celebration waaaaaaay over the top.

I would like to say, at this juncture, that the ambience was gorgeous …. the house looked beautiful.  But, again, I digress …

I then began to prepare the baking pan, filling it with coarse sea salt and placing the pan in a precarious position in my overcrowded, space-challenged kitchen.  I began washing the oysters and started to “shuck” them … but realized that I did not have an oyster knife (blunt implement) so, I was forced to use a knife.

You know where this is going, don’t you?

As I “shucked” the oysters, I managed to nearly sever an artery in my wrist and stabbed myself in two other parts of my hand ….. and, as Murphy’s Law would have it, the pan filled with the coarse sea salt fell on the floor, spilling salt everywhere.  Everywhere. I had to take a deep breath, get a bandage for my hand and then vacuum the floor, before resuming the”shucking.”  Meanwhile, my black Lab — Bacchus — was stubbornly staying under foot in the kitchen because of the fireworks outside (he is terrified of fireworks) and wouldn’t leave my side.  At 11:38 pm, on New Year’s Eve, the table was set — complete with tasty appetizers (hors d’oeuvres), fine champagne, chocolate-covered strawberries, and, yes, the f-ing Oysters Rockefeller.  We toasted the New Year at midnight, enjoyed our feast, and I made a vow: 

In 2012, I will make a supreme effort to keep things simple.

 “A little simplification would be the first step toward rational living, I think”               – Eleanor Roosevelt

The Tides of Change

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Have a fabulous New Year’s Eve celebration, one and all!

A very special shout-out to family and friends across the globe, but especially in:

♦ Australia (Perth, Eucumbene/NSW)

♦ New Zealand

♦ Singapore

♦ Malta (Ta’Xbiex, Valletta, Sliema, Senglea, Madliena, Naxxar)

♦ Greece (Athens, Glyfada, Kalamata, Meropi)

♦ The Netherlands

♦ England (Henley-on-Thames, Southampton, London)

♦ Canada (BC <West Vancouver>, AB <Calgary>, ON<Welland, Pickering, Ajax, Oakville, Burlington, Windsor, Dundas, Mississauga, Scarborough, Toronto, Ottawa, Toledo, Bainsville ….>, and QC <Montréal, Laval, Anjou, Outremont, Harrington, Beaconsfield, DDO, Côte St. Luc, LaSalle …> )

♦ United States (FL <Coconut Grove, Coral Gables, Lake Worth, Cooper City, Miami, Coral Springs, Orlando…>, AL <Mobile>, KY <Winchester, Lexington>, NC <Charlotte, Mooresville, Apex, …), NY <NYC>, CT <Fairfield>, RI <Providence>, MA <Boston>, OH, IA, CO <Denver>, UT <Salt Lake City>, CA <Boulder Creek,  Ben Lomond, Los Gatos, Campbell, San Jose, San Francisco, Pasadena …>)

Stay tuned tomorrow for a special New Year Message/words of “wisdom” ….. heatherfromthegrove-style!

CHEERS!

For Auld Lang Syne …

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2011

In Memoriam

Auld lang syne.  There are many interpretations of these lyrics, but I’ve always thought of it as a farewell song. So, as 2011 prepares its final curtain call, I would like to pay homage to a few people who have  touched my life — either directly or indirectly. 

Rest in Peace.

Image (top) via adfa.org.au.

… “and peace to His people on Earth” … Merry Christmas from heatherfromthegrove in South Florida!

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Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childish days; that can recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth; that can transport the sailor and the traveller, thousands of miles away, back to his own fire-side and his quiet home!  ~Charles Dickens, The Pickwick Papers, 1836

May you enjoy and savour the joy of the holiday season, delight in feasting with your family and friends, and may you bow your head in fervent, heartfelt appreciation for all the blessings you received and those that are yet to come.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Cheers,

heatherfromthegrove

 

 

 

 

Image (top) via Skyscrapercity.com

Santa, a Greek? The Feast Day of St. Nikolaos – a Day of Celebration … of Freedom!

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Today, December 6th, is the Feast Day of St. Nikolaos  − or Nicholas, Nick, Ἅγιος Νικόλαος (Greek for Saint Nikolaos), and also known as Sinterklaas (Dutch for Santa Claus).

Yes, Santa Claus was (Oops! I meant, is!) Greek.

After all, didn’t everything and everyone originate from the Greeks?  At least that’s what my family (the Greek side, by marriage) keep telling me … didn’t the father in the movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, say that the Greeks invented Windex?  But, not all of it is said tongue-in-cheek.  Such as:

Medical terminology …  derived from Greek.

Catholicism …  Greek roots (I’ve had some heated discussions on that one – being the Roman Catholic that I am!).

Geometry …  Greek.

Yes, this ancient, brilliant and culturally rich civilization is the birthplace  of many great things and people, not the least of which is our beloved Santa Claus.

Born (≈ 270 A.D.) in  the Greco-Roman town of Myra (in Lycia <of Asia Minor> – now part of modern-day Turkey), Nikolaos was a very pious man.  He was also extremely practical, generous and kind. The youngest man ever to become a priest (and later, a bishop), Nikolaos performed many kind deeds, such as throwing bags of gold coins down chimneys to aid the poor and providing dowries for women to save them from lives of lechery. He is often depicted (in art) as wearing dramatic red robes and holding three gold coins. His “Name Day” is the anniversary of his death (December 6) and this day is still a gift-giving date in many countries, although December 25th has become the de facto date for gift exchange within the Christian faith.

St. Nikolaos had a reputation for secret gift-giving and is considered the patron saint of sailors and children, butchers, bakers, and judges. He is also the patron saint of Greece.

What really made him so special? He was a generous soul whose generosity was born of an understanding and empathy for those in pain (physically, emotionally and spiritually). He was persecuted and imprisoned for his faith, which made him all the more compassionate and an ardent supporter for people who were battling a loss of freedom.

Freedom.  We live for it. We fight for it. And, we die for it.

Anthony Quinn, as Alexis Zorba, in the film (Zorba the Greek), directed by  Michael Cacoyannis.

When that brilliant writer from Crete, Nikos Kazantzakis, wrote his novel, Zorba the Greek, he depicted “freedom”  (Greek-style)  as:

Alexis Zorba: Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it. You’ve got everything except one thing: madness! A man needs a little madness, or else…
Basil: Or else?
Alexis Zorba: …he never dares cut the rope and be free.

Which brings me to modern-day Greece.  And these are my own personal, editorial comments….

On October 28th, since World War II, the Greeks celebrate Ohi Day (Επέτειος του «’Οχι» Epeteios tou “‘Ohi”, Anniversary of the “No”) when the then Greek Prime Minister, Ioannis Metaxas rejected the ultimatum made by Italian dictator Benito Mussolini on October 28, 1940, which “demanded that Greece allow Axis forces to enter Greek territory and occupy certain unspecified ‘strategic locations’ or otherwise face war.”

Today, Greece is embroiled in an economic crisis that is threatening the freedom of their country.  The choice:  become deeply indebted to the European Union, but maintain solvency OR go into insolvency, but maintain a degree of independence.

In my lifetime, I’ve experienced economic prosperity and not-so-prosperous situations, like: being indebted, and therefore enslaved AND being cash-poor, yet − amazingly  − free.

Greece is a proud, gloriously unruly (Zorba-esque), and resilient nation. My personal belief, is that they stand true to who they are and say:

όχι (No!)

And then, slowly and steadily, pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and start fresh.

Back to St. Nikoloas – his name means “victory for the people” − very apropos. I will leave it at that.

One more word, to my own, special and beloved Nick ….. as well as all the other Nicks in the world who celebrate their Name Day today ….  χρόνια πολλά (hronia polla / Happy Name Day) ! 

“C” is for Courtesy

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One evening a Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, “My son, the battle is between 2 wolves inside of us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”
The Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
— Author Unknown

This is the time of year when it would behoove all of us to press the “Pause” button and take some time to contemplate how we treat others — which is, in essence — a direct reflection of who we really are.

I have a bee in my bonnet.  And it’s buzzing around one word: Courtesy. Or lack thereof. A false sense of entitlement, perhaps.

Some examples:

  • he or she who texts while driving, completely disregarding the pedestrian crossing the street (who – fyi – has the right of way)
  • he or she who chats on the cell phone while driving (same scenario as above)
  • he or she who does not reply to an important email or telephone call
  • he or she who is consistently late for meetings, appointments, or events
  • he or she who eagerly accepts the fruit of one’s labor and, not only takes it for granted, but also refuses to honor their word
  • he or she who honks their car horn incessantly (this is really, really, annoying!!!)
  • he or she who wastes food (when others are starving)
  • he or she who looks right through you – not at you
  • he or she who listens, but does not really hear
  • he or she who judges others, making assumptions (because they are, after all, assumptions) that are usually erroneous

The list goes on and on….

So, here’s a shout out to all of us in this, the season of light, love and thanks:  feed the Good wolf.

Image via oneheartbeatdrums.com.