New Year’s Revelation No. 3 of 7: Resist the Mañana Syndrome

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“Know the true value of time; snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it.  No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination: never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.
~ Lord Chesterfield 

In theory, I completely concur with Lord Chesterfield.  In practice, however, I’ve been known to occasionally follow Scarlett O’Hara’s logic (from Gone with the Wind):  “I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow …… After all, tomorrow is another day.” 

Putting things off until tomorrow — or, as I like to call it, The Mañana Syndrome …. has been a challenge for me throughout my life — not because I’m lazy, but because I always have so many concurrent projects and so many lists-upon-lists-upon-lists, that it becomes overwhelming sometimes.  And then I completely detach.  But, something changed for me last summer.  It wasn’t any specific event or drama.  I was just sitting at my computer, with Janis Joplin rasping in the background.  The song was Ball and Chain and the lyrics that spoke to me were:

“That’s what it is, man. If you got it today you don’t wear it tomorrow, man. ‘Cause you don’t need it. ‘Cause as a matter of fact, as we discovered on the train, tomorrow never happens, man. It’s all the same fxxxxxx day, man.”

And, right there and then, I thought to myself  “What if tomorrow never happens?”  I would not want to leave this world without having done the things I needed and wanted to do.  Now, I know that I’m taking the meaning of Janis’ lyrics out of context … but it just triggered something in my head.  So, then I thought “How can I complete what I need to complete?”   And the answers came to me in short staccato words and phrases:  You’re not Superwoman.  Be reasonable.  Prioritize.   Compartmentalize.  Streamline.  Keep it simple.  Stop writing lists.  Take a breath. 

Let’s be real, here.  This is not a Mensa puzzle.  I just needed to tweak my thinking and my process of multitasking.  And so I did. 

It worked. My book, Casualties of the Recession Depression, is written and currently in the editing phase.  The launch is set for the 26th of February, barring any glitches. And, I’ll soon pick up where I left off on my next book, When the Child Becomes the Parent. Everything is on track and on schedule. 

Yet, each day I make time to read a book while enjoying the sights, sounds and smells of my garden.

Speaking of thought processes, I’ll leave you with another very loosely related anecdote.  One evening, my husband and I were gazing up at the stars.  I asked him “What do you see when you look up in the sky?”  He looked at me quizzically and said “Well, there’s Orion’s Belt   ….”   He saw the starry sky in a structured, compartmentalized way.  I said, “When I look up, I see a sea of stars in an endless array of different sizes and formations …. too many to count, or even discern.  I just love to soak in the beauty of it all.”  And so I wondered whether the stark difference in the way we saw the night sky was a function of gender (i.e. ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’) or  was it simply that our personalities are such that he see things in black and white and I, in every shade of grey in between.

Which is why I tended  (note the past tense) to bite off more than I could chew. 

Lesson learned.

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” 
Mother Teresa

Image via donnamoderna.com (Photo credit:  Inga Ivanova)

New Year’s Revelation No.2 of 7: Kindness is Contagious

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“No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.”

~ Amelia Earhart

A few weeks ago, while I was waiting for the train at the Metrorail station (here in Miami), I happened to glance down at the outer main platform (one story below, outside of the turnstiles) and what I saw simply made my jaw drop.   There were about fifty or so people, either sitting down on the benches or  mulling about, and an elderly man was walking (alone) on the sidewalk.  No one took notice of him, until he fell.  Very shakily, he tried to stand up and almost succeeded but then his legs gave way and he collapsed in a heap on the ground.  No one — and I mean no one — lifted a hand to help him.  Oh, they certainly gawked at him, but apparently no one wanted to “get involved.”   I started yelling from the station above, but my voice was lost in the noisy rumble of the train that was approaching my station.   Finally, a bus driver sauntered over to the man and helped him to stand.  Luckily, he wasn’t hurt, just shaken.  I shook my head in disgust.  What in the bloody hell is wrong with people?

It never hurts to be kind.  Kindness is like the gift that keeps on giving.  It comes back to us in spades.  Some call that Karma.  I call it Humanity.  The Dalai Lama says it best:

“This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.”

Pure and simple.  Kind acts don’t have to be extravagant, nor should there ever be the expectation of reward or recognition.  The man, pictured above, is an example of the most pure and humble act of kindness (and love).  His very old dog suffers from painful arthritis.  He frequently takes his dog out in Lake Superior and the water soothes the dog’s arthritic joints,  relieving him from pain and allowing him to sleep on his “Dad’s” chest.   Strangers from far and wide, having heard of this moving story via the internet, have anonymously paid for vet procedures and more, to help the ailing dog and to relieve the financial worry from his “Dad.”   Now that is kindness in its purest form — anonymous, random acts of kindness.  I encourage you to read the full story.  It is simply inspiring.

Spending the night listening to a troubled friend.  Offering to carry bags of groceries from the supermarket to the car, for someone you don’t even know.  Giving some wildflowers to an elderly stranger sitting on a park bench.  Feeding a hungry stray cat.  The opportunities to show kindness … are simply endless.

I’ll leave you with yet another one of my own personal stories.  It’s about “Lucky” — the name I gave to the baby possum I rescued about a year ago.  In my neighborhood, Friday is the day that we can leave yard clippings out on the road, to be picked up.   My husband and I had done a lot of tree trimming, so we placed the pile out on the Thursday evening.  On the next day, the truck came and picked up all the clippings and I noticed that there was still some yard debris left.  Annoyed, I took my broom and began to sweep.  The truck driver came around again and honked his horn at me.  I looked up and then he pointed (animatedly) at the edge of the road near the sidewalk.  Puzzled, I looked down and then I gasped.  There was a shivering, wet (it had been raining earlier) baby possum, playing dead (as only possums know how to do).  I hadn’t noticed the little fella, because his color blended with that of the road.  I knew that if I left him there, a car would park and the tires would run right over him.  So, I ran into the house and got a plastic container and a sheet of cardboard.  I slipped the plastic container over him and the cardboard under him, lifted him up and brought him into my side garden.  I removed the cardboard and container and watched him for a moment.  I truly thought he was dead. His eyes and mouth were open and he would not move, even though I prodded him gently.  I left him there, amid all the grass and shrubs and then went into the house, to watch him from the window.  After about five minutes, he got up, shook his head (very similar to what my dog, Bacchus does)  and then he grazed on some grass.  After a while he went exploring.  I named him “Lucky” for obvious reasons.  He was so lucky that he didn’t get flattened by a car whose driver wouldn’t have noticed him.  Lucky still lives in my garden.  Very late at night, when I walk around — to make sure that all is well and secure — I sometimes have a chance encounter with my old friend.  He’s not so tiny any more.  I like to think that he remembers my voice (possums don’t have the best eyesight).

It gives me great joy to be kind.   We are all God’s creatures.  It would behoove us to remember that, from time to time.

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“Lucky” … the day he was rescued

Image (of dog and man) via hypnotistpaulramsay.typepad.com, photo by Hannah Stonehouse Hudson.

New Year’s Revelation No. 1 of 7: Love without Reservations, Conditions or Expectations

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To love without condition, to talk without intention, listen without judging, to give without reason and to care without expectation.  This is the art of a true relationship”

~ Anonymous

It’s a new day and a new year, ladies and gentlemen! Yesterday is history. We can’t rewrite it, but we can learn from it. Today begins a new chapter in each of our lives. Embrace it with an open mind and a loving heart.

Love. It’s a simple word, really. Yet, sometimes we misuse it and, far too often, we (intentionally or unintentionally) misinterpret its meaning.

 Love — an over-used word?

How many times a day so we say “I love you” — to our children, as they go off to school each morning or to our significant others, and even to a family member, at the end of a phone call? I know, the premise behind the declaration is that we want our loved ones to know that they are loved. But, doesn’t the constant, repetitious utterance of the phrase somehow dilute its meaning? We say “I love you” just as often (and almost as automatically) as we say “Hi, how are you?” — to which the equally automatic response is “Fine, thanks. And you?”

Shouldn’t we savor the phrase and use it in moments that give it more meaning? Isn’t it more important to show someone that we love him/her, rather than tell him/her constantly? Incidentally, I do not mean to infer that giving someone a gift is necessarily a demonstration of love. Actions have far more impact than gifts. For example, when a mother of four is juggling multiple school/extracurricular activities schedules, keeping the house in tip-top shape, preparing home-cooked meals and managing to work from home … her husband could show his love by surprising her with breakfast in bed and taking the kids out on an excursion each Saturday, so his wife could have some quiet time to herself.

Let me share a personal story with you. Back in the first half of 2005, my mother was a permanent resident in a chronic care hospital. She was dying of cancer. Now, my mother and I always shared a special bond. I knew that she loved me and vice versa. But, one particular day stood out for me … and I weep, as I write this. She began to have bouts of dementia and she, along with some of the other patients (they all had similar illnesses) would often be seated in their wheelchairs in the lounge at certain times of the day. Many would dose off and others, like my Mum, would simply stare into space – expressionless. This one day, I visited her during one of these lounging hours. I got out of the elevator and saw her immediately, noting that her eyes had a far away look in them. When I was about ten feet closer to her, she focused her gaze on me and then, immediately, her eyes lit up. She smiled, giggled and clasped her hands in joy. And then, she said my name: “Heather!” We embraced. I stayed with her for hours and hours, just holding her hand and gazing at her, trying to memorize her face and that moment in time. No one had to hit me over the head with a bat, to tell me that my mother loved me. Just the way she looked at me, said it all.

That’s what I mean when I say “show” someone you love them. When a dear friend calls you on the phone, respond with a smile in your voice because you’re happy to hear from her. It makes a world of difference.

Love — its meaning is not that complicated, is it?

Love is not — should not — be complicated. It is what it is. We needn’t ascribe conditions, restrictions, expectations to it. That is not truly love. Some people are afraid to love because they fear getting hurt. Well, here’s a reality check: they will get hurt, we all do. However, that should not prevent us from loving. You see, only the people you love deeply have the power to hurt you, and vice versa. If someone says something negative about you, the impact of the criticism would not sting even a little compared to the hurt you would feel if the words were uttered by someone you love.

This is why we should honor the people who we love and who love us in return. It is so important to try not to abuse friendships and relationships. I say “try” because we are, after all human. We make mistakes. We say things before we think and can’t take the words back. What we can do, is say (and really mean it): “I’m sorry.”

Which leads us to another can of worms. Forgiveness. Aye, there’s the rub. True, it’s easier to love than to forgive. But, if we truly love, we must forgive. After all, isn’t that what loving without conditions, restrictions and expectations is all about? When a teenage child screams “I hate you!” with venom and blazing eyes at her parent, it feels like the blade of a knife. But, she’s your child and you love her, no matter what. You forgive her (and pray that this hateful rebellious phase will pass quickly!).

“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.”
~ Robert Muller

I chose “Love” to kick off the first of my 7 New Year’s Revelations this year because it is the most powerful human emotion (the other, of course, is hate … but I will not be touching that one).

So, dear readers, my wish for you, in 2013, is that you love well and with abandon (not to be confused with promiscuity!! ).

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

 Image via charmedyoga.com.

Farewell 2012, and hello 2013!!

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.”
— Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Dearest readers, thank you so much for reading, following and liking my blogs!    Many blessings for 2013 and may tonight’s New Year’s Eve celebration be filled with laughter, good food, plenty of bubbly libation, and the company of those you hold dear! 

And, as always, a very special shout-out to my family and friends across the globe, but especially in:

New Zealand

Australia (Eucumbene/NSW, Sydney, Perth)

Singapore

Greece (Athens, Glyfada, Kalamata, Meropi)

Malta (Il-Kappara, Madliena, Naxxar, Sliema, Senglea, Ta’Xbiex, Valletta,  … )

The Netherlands

England (Henley-on-Thames, London, Southampton, Worcestershire, … )

♦ Scotland (Laird/Scottish Highlands)

Canada (BC <West Vancouver, Victoria>, AB <Calgary>, ON< Ajax, Bainsville, Burlington,  Dundas, Mississauga, Oakville, Ottawa,  Pickering, Scarborough, Smith Falls, Toronto,Welland, Windsor,  ….>, and QC <Anjou, Beaconsfield, Côte St. Luc, DDO, Harrington, LaSalle, Laval, Montréal, N.D.G., Outremont, Pointe Claire,  …> )

United States (FL <Coconut Grove, Cooper City, Coral Gables, Coral Springs, Lake Worth, Miami,  Orlando…>, AL <Mobile>, KY <Winchester>, NC <Apex, Charlotte, Mooresville,  …), NY <NYC>, CT <Fairfield>, RI <Providence>, MA <Boston>, OH, IA, CO <Denver>, CA <Ben Lomond, Boulder Creek,  Campbell, Los Gatos,  San Jose, San Francisco,…>)

Stay tuned tomorrow for the first of my seven New Year’s Revelations (not to be confused with resolutions!).  And a new chapter begins ….

CHEERS!

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Book launching soon … but not before the editors have their merry way with it

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Book Update:  The manuscript for  “Casualties of the Recession Depression”  is now in the editing stage!  The anticipated book launch date is February 26, 2013!  I’ll keep you posted …

If I could physically do cartwheels, I would ….  Cartwheels

You’ve seen it before, but here it is (again) … the book cover:

 

Image (editing, top of page) by Nic’s events, (cartwheel sketch) by justquitthing.com.

For Auld Lang Syne

Each year, I like to pay homage to the men and women (whether known to me personally or not) who have touched my life or the lives of those nearest and dearest to me, and who have taken their final curtain call.  In their memory, I give them a standing ovation and raise my glass of champagne in their honour.

R.I.P.

InMem2012

Holiday wishes from heatherfromthegrove

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“What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace.”  — Agnes M. Pharo

From my home to yours, I wish you all the blessings of the holiday season.  May you savour your feast, revel in the company of those you love most, and bow your head in thanks for all the goodness in your life.

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays!

Warmest Wishes,

Heather

 

Giving thanks and praise

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As long as we are able to breathe, think, and feel … there is hope.  In this, the holy season of  love and kindness, most of us experience a heightened awareness of how truly precious our family and friends are to us.  It’s not that we take them for granted throughout the rest of the year.  But, in the spirit of the season, we stop and take pause … and give thanks.

In 2012, a lot of very dear people in my life have navigated their way through a turbulent year — scary surgical procedures, illnesses,  financial hardship, death (of a family member or friend), divorce, and recurring cancer of one type or another.  All of them — despite some daunting challenges — have managed to reach the end of the year with their sanity (and life) still intact.  We humans are a remarkably resilient race!

To them — and to you, dear readers —  I raise my festive glass of mulled wine in celebration of their (and your) strength and grace.  Santé! 

ABOVE THE CLOUDS  (by W. Taylor Hammond)

Above the clouds the sun is ever shining

While sunbeams vie to make the heavens glow

The eagle soars aloft on wings reclining,

While tempest rages violently below.

 

She knows her place of rest above the thunder

For eagles wings are taught of God to rise

Above the clouds to feel the glorious wonder

Of everlasting calm amid the skies.

 

So may it be with you in sorrow

As storms of grief and trial weave their shrouds

There is a place of refuge for the morrow—-

You’ll find it if you rise above the clouds

 

Above the clouds—-I mean of earth’s repining—

The child of faith may rise on eagle’s wings

To find the Sun of Righteousness e’er shining

And peace transcending all these earthly things.

 

 

Image from calgarypsychology.com.

Coming soon …

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While all my neighbors have beautifully decorated their homes with festive Christmas lights and wreaths, my house remains in darkness.  This is very uncharacteristic of me, since I am usually seen — precariously standing up on a ladder (with whimsical outdoor tree ornaments strewn everywhere)  — the day after Thanksgiving.  Not this year.  My neighbors have been glancing quizzically at me, wondering if something is terribly wrong.  They don’t know that I’m spending most of my time on my book —which I will  finish by the 21st.  So, if I need to look like Ebenezer Scrooge for a few weeks, so be it.

When the book is done, my neighbors will be stunned.  My house will be lit like the Las Vegas strip!  I will be singing the Hallelujah Chorus at the top of my lungs!  That is, if  I get my voice back.

Until then ….

The real meaning of Thanksgiving

“If you can’t feed a hundred people, then just feed one.”

Mother Teresa

On Thursday, millions of Americans (citizens and permanent residents alike)  — of all faiths — will gather with family and friends to give thanks for the blessings of life.   There is a lot to be thankful for.  And, to those of us who will be enjoying a bountiful Thanksgiving feast, we should bow our heads in sincere and humble gratitude. 

Not everyone will be as fortunate.  Missions, food banks, and shelters will be overwhelmed with people seeking a Thanksgiving meal.  They will rely on the kindness of strangers —  people like you and I,  who donate food and money to organizations that exist for no other reason than to feed the hungry in our respective communities.

“For it is in giving that we receive.”

—  St. Francis

So, as you fill up your pantries with festive food, please remember to keep some aside to share with those in need.  If you can, volunteer an hour or two of your time to serve meals at your local mission.  The staff could really use your help.  There are more hungry and homeless people this year than last year. 

And, if you know someone who is suffering financially or who will be all alone this Thanksgiving, why not set an extra place setting at your dinner table and extend some hospitality? A little humanity will go a long way. 

After all, isn’t that what Thanksgiving is about?

 Many seasonal blessings to you and yours, dear readers!

A Thanksgiving Prayer

In the spirit of humility we give thanks for all that is.
We thank the great spiritual beings who have shared their wisdom.
We thank our ancestors who brought us to where we are now.
We are grateful for the opportunity to walk this planet,
to breathe the air,
to taste the food,
to experience sensations of a human body/mind,
to share in this wonder that is life.
We are grateful for the natural world that supports us,
for the community of humankind that enables us to do many wonderous things.
We are grateful that we are conscious,
that as intelligent beings we can reflect upon the many gifts we have been given.

— Tom Barrett