New Year’s Revelation No. 3 of 7: Resist the Mañana Syndrome

image-articolo-i-benefici-della-vacanza-manteniamoli-cosi

“Know the true value of time; snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it.  No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination: never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.
~ Lord Chesterfield 

In theory, I completely concur with Lord Chesterfield.  In practice, however, I’ve been known to occasionally follow Scarlett O’Hara’s logic (from Gone with the Wind):  “I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow …… After all, tomorrow is another day.” 

Putting things off until tomorrow — or, as I like to call it, The Mañana Syndrome …. has been a challenge for me throughout my life — not because I’m lazy, but because I always have so many concurrent projects and so many lists-upon-lists-upon-lists, that it becomes overwhelming sometimes.  And then I completely detach.  But, something changed for me last summer.  It wasn’t any specific event or drama.  I was just sitting at my computer, with Janis Joplin rasping in the background.  The song was Ball and Chain and the lyrics that spoke to me were:

“That’s what it is, man. If you got it today you don’t wear it tomorrow, man. ‘Cause you don’t need it. ‘Cause as a matter of fact, as we discovered on the train, tomorrow never happens, man. It’s all the same fxxxxxx day, man.”

And, right there and then, I thought to myself  “What if tomorrow never happens?”  I would not want to leave this world without having done the things I needed and wanted to do.  Now, I know that I’m taking the meaning of Janis’ lyrics out of context … but it just triggered something in my head.  So, then I thought “How can I complete what I need to complete?”   And the answers came to me in short staccato words and phrases:  You’re not Superwoman.  Be reasonable.  Prioritize.   Compartmentalize.  Streamline.  Keep it simple.  Stop writing lists.  Take a breath. 

Let’s be real, here.  This is not a Mensa puzzle.  I just needed to tweak my thinking and my process of multitasking.  And so I did. 

It worked. My book, Casualties of the Recession Depression, is written and currently in the editing phase.  The launch is set for the 26th of February, barring any glitches. And, I’ll soon pick up where I left off on my next book, When the Child Becomes the Parent. Everything is on track and on schedule. 

Yet, each day I make time to read a book while enjoying the sights, sounds and smells of my garden.

Speaking of thought processes, I’ll leave you with another very loosely related anecdote.  One evening, my husband and I were gazing up at the stars.  I asked him “What do you see when you look up in the sky?”  He looked at me quizzically and said “Well, there’s Orion’s Belt   ….”   He saw the starry sky in a structured, compartmentalized way.  I said, “When I look up, I see a sea of stars in an endless array of different sizes and formations …. too many to count, or even discern.  I just love to soak in the beauty of it all.”  And so I wondered whether the stark difference in the way we saw the night sky was a function of gender (i.e. ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’) or  was it simply that our personalities are such that he see things in black and white and I, in every shade of grey in between.

Which is why I tended  (note the past tense) to bite off more than I could chew. 

Lesson learned.

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” 
Mother Teresa

Image via donnamoderna.com (Photo credit:  Inga Ivanova)

Balancing time: back to the halcyon days

“The more you sense the rareness and value of your own life, the more you realize that how you use it, how you manifest it, is all your responsibility. We face such a big task, so naturally we sit down for a while.”

Kobun Chino Otogawa Roshi

My greatest challenge is balancing time. With so many book projects — in different stages of development — I sometimes feel overwhelmed.  Experience has taught me that when this feeling washes over me, it’s time to press the “pause” button in my life and switch gears.  So, I put my gardening shoes, hat and gloves on  and then step out into my very own tropical garden.  When I’m pruning, weeding, planting and tending to my herb garden, fruit trees and flowers, I am in another zone.  A zone were mobile phones, emails, LinkedIn and Google do not exist.  This is a time and space when/where I am able to think, imagine, and create — not on paper, but in my mind.  This is a place of peace, of balance.  So, I’ve made some decisions as to how I should balance my time. 

In this country (United States), many people work 24/7.  Some, because they have to and, others, because they want to.  It is very easy to get caught up in that work ethic. Whatever the reason, it is simply not healthy to work continuous long hours, seven days a week.  In many locations around the world (notably, Europe), Sunday is still considered a day of rest. In Israel, Saturday (the Sabbath) is observed as a day of rest.  In the days of yore (pre-1970), North Americans happily left work behind at the end of Friday and prepared to enjoy their weekends (Saturday AND Sunday) with family and friends. 

It is my belief that those were the halcyon days.  Granted, the world is a lot more complicated and intense.   But, and think about this,  does it really have to be?  Do we not have the power to make choices about our own lives?  Can’t we figure out a way to balance work and play, business interaction and family interaction, money and quality of life?  Are they all mutually exclusive?

I think we can strike a balance between all the components of our life, although we may have to choose to let some go.  For example, does little Suzie really need to go to ballet class, Girl Guides, tennis, AND Glee Club?  Shouldn’t two extracurricular activities be enough? I’ve said this many times — to anyone who will listen — we overschedule ourselves and our children.

I, for one,  intend to recalibrate my thinking.  I now refuse to answer business calls during the weekend (yes, Saturday AND Sunday) and after 9 pm on weekdays. On weekends, I will not check LinkedIn or respond to business emails.  I will not do client work on weekends, only my own projects. 

Weekends are for family and friends. No exceptions.  I will go on Facebook and Skype, because that’s how I communicate with family and friends who live miles (and oceans) away. 

So, there you have it.  Back to the 1950’s, but with a 21st century social media twist!

As for Volume 1 (When the Child Becomes the Parent) in my 4-volume Baby Boomer Series, it’s still in progress. Spring has come and gone. I am eye-deep in research.  It will be done when it is done.  Sooner, rather than later.  I’m not getting any younger.

“Writing is not a matter of time, but a matter or of space. If you don’t keep space in your head for writing, you won’t write even if you have the time.” 

— Katerina Stoykova Klemer

Image (stones) via groupsoutdor.com.

Gone fishing …

I haven’t been blogging much these days, partly because a lot of my time is consumed by writing my book “When the Child Becomes the Parent”  and also because I am being lured by so many distractions — all of which involve home renovation projects and gardening.  Okay, perhaps “lured”  isn’t the right word.  Let’s shift the blame back to the real culprit.  Me.

Mea culpa, mea culpa.

I admit it.  I am addicted to home improvement — inside and out.  I am an avid (rabid?)  HGTV and DIY television channel viewer.  Candace Olsen. Ty PenningtonDavid Bromstad. Genevieve Gorder. Vern Yip. Mike HolmesJamie Durie.  These talented designers, architects, builders, and landscape artists are my muses.

Not to mention my very own live-in architect and engineer.

In my view, there is nothing more rewarding than working with my hands (my nearest and dearest now calls me Rosie the Riveter)  and either creating something from scratch or restoring a room to its former glory.  Each Christmas, I tell my husband that in lieu of exchanging gifts just for the sake of it, we should simply get ourselves a new power tool — like a jack hammer, for example.  To which he replies, eyes shining, “I am such a lucky bastard!  A wife who loves power tools and motorcycles … amazing!”  

I never disagree with my husband.  That would be just rude.

But, I am getting distracted again.  As I mentioned earlier, I am trying to finish writing my book.  It is about one month (give or take a few days) behind schedule … a schedule that is completely self-directed.

Mea culpa, mea culpa.

Here’s my reasoning:  it is important to balance intellectual pursuits with physical activity.

Sitting in front of a computer, writing and researching for twelve hours straight is simply  not conducive to good health.   Although writing marathons/binges can be very productive,  the downside is that they can cause eye strain, circulation problems, and muscle pain.

I am an extremist.  I do go on writing binges which render me oblivious to time and sound.  I believe it’s referred to as “being in the zone.” However, when I let myself get distracted by my beloved house and garden projects, I push myself to my physical limits and, once again, I forget about that she-devil called Time.  The downside?  Chapter Nine was supposed to have been completed two weeks ago.  And, to add insult to injury, I just threw out my lower back again — very badly.

Mea culpa, mea culpa.

I should heed my own words. Balance.  Wasn’t that what I said earlier? Not one or the other. Both. In moderation and harmony.

Of course, now I can’t do either.  Sure, I can manage a 500-word blog, but I keep getting sharp twinges of pain when I move this way or that. So, I will have to press the Pause button for now and take it easy for a few days.

Gone fishing …

h.f.t.g.

P.S.  I welcome any suggestions for tried and true home remedies for back pain …

Image via paisleyperspective.com.

A Writer’s greatest tonic: SLEEP!

Ha!  I know, you thought I would say that the writer’s greatest tonic is  …. perhaps, some scotch (straight up, of course) or a glass of Pinot Noir!  Well, I jest you not … a good night’s sleep does indeed stimulate the creative juices.  Waking up in the morning and feeling refreshed and alert (until you catch a glimpse of your puffy-eyed reflection in the mirror!) will go a long way to helping you finish that oh-so-wordy chapter 6 (the chapter that keeps on giving ….. me heartburn).  All right, enough of my writing woes.  Here are some interesting tidbits and links on the physical and psychological benefits of sleep — not just for neurotic writers, but for everyone:

Many of us think that we can get by on very little sleep.  When deadlines loom near, we pull a few all-nighters. And this is okay …. once in a while.  The startling news is that far too many of us follow a daily sleep regimen of less than 6 hours per night. This, according to researchers at Harvard Medical School, falls under the category of chronic sleep loss and may contribute to a number of health problems, such as  a compromised immune system, weight gain, and high blood pressure.  The Harvard Women’s Health Watch reports that there are at least 6 good reasons to get enough sleep:

  1. Learning and memory: Sleep helps the brain commit new information to memory through a process called memory consolidation. In studies, people who’d slept after learning a task did better on tests later.
  2. Metabolism and weight: Chronic sleep deprivation may cause weight gain by affecting the way our bodies process and store carbohydrates, and by altering levels of hormones that affect our appetite.
  3. Safety: Sleep debt contributes to a greater tendency to fall asleep during the daytime. These lapses may cause falls and mistakes such as medical errors, air traffic mishaps, and road accidents.
  4. Mood: Sleep loss may result in irritability, impatience, inability to concentrate, and moodiness. Too little sleep can also leave you too tired to do the things you like to do.
  5. Cardiovascular health: Serious sleep disorders have been linked to hypertension, increased stress hormone levels, and irregular heartbeat.
  6. Disease: Sleep deprivation alters immune function, including the activity of the body’s killer cells. Keeping up with sleep may also help fight cancer.

And, here are some sleep guidelines from the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke:

Sleep Requirements by Age

Newborns (0-2 months old) 12-18 hours
Infants (3-11 months old) 14-15 Hours
Toddlers (1-3 years old)l 12-14 Hours
Pre-schoolers (3-5 years old) 11-13 Hours
School-aged Children (5-10 years old) 10-11 Hours
Teens (11-17 years old) 8-9 Hours
Adults 7-9 Hours

And, for those of you who complain incessantly that your mattress is the reason why you don’t sleep well at night — please do some research and then invest in a new mattress!

Sweet dreams …

Sleep – the most beautiful experience in life – except drink.
W. C. Fields

I couldn’t resist.

Cheers,  h.f.t.g.

Image via kiwimagonline.com.

The perils of procrastination …….

Do you know how easy it would be to succumb to the temptation of relaxing on the beach?Especially here in South Florida, for heaven’s sake!  Just five minutes away from the ocean.  Yet, here I sit in my study – at least ten hours a day (5 hours a day on the weekend).  Believe it or not, I have been battling procrastination all of my life.  But the clock is ticking. Time is breathing down my neck, egging me on.  That’s why I’m so über-organized.  I need Structure:  outlines, lists, schedules, index cards, storyboards —whatever it takes. Without it, I might as well put a “Gone Fishing” sign on my door.

Why, oh why do writers continuously “suffer the slings and arrows” (certainly not of “outrageous fortune!”) of Procrastination?  We like to call it  “writer’s block.”  That’s a more palatable term for the “condition.”  Call it whatever you want.

According to psychologists, one of the root causes of procrastination is fear —  fear of failure or success.  The price of success is responsibility and recognition.  Procrastinators who fear success are essentially afraid of the fallout. Which brings us to the subject of perfectionism.  Procrastinators tend to be perfectionists (although perfectionists are not necessarily always procrastinators) – anxious for everything to be perfect. And since it’s virtually impossible to be perfect, why bother trying?

Okay, let’s presume that we understand the reasons why we do what we do.  The more salient question would be “how do we overcome procrastination?”  Here are some of the steps that have worked for me:

  1. Set a timeframe for yourself, with a beginning and an end.
  2. Visualize the end result you want.
  3. Set realistic goals and tackle them, one at a time.
  4. Pace yourself.  This is not a marathon. Didn’t your mother ever tell you that “haste makes waste?”
  5. Break up your writing time into segments, so that you allocate time to do non-sedentary activities like walking, gardening, swimming , or whatever you enjoy doing.
  6. Talk about your writing with friends, family and colleagues. Brainstorming always helps.
  7. Yes, write outlines, lists, index cards – whatever structure works for you. Like it or not, structure helps. A lot.
  8. Make a public commitment.  This is not for everybody. As you may have noticed (see the lower right side of this blog site), I have committed – publicly – to completing my non-fiction book (When the Child Becomes the Parent) and my novel (Finding Grace)  by 2013 and December 2012, respectively.  I did this purposely because I know that – come hell or high water – I will do it.
  9. Make commitments to others. In addition to my own work, I have committed to ghostwriting two client book projects (one is in progress, due for completion just before Thanksgiving) and the other is tentatively set to commence in January.
  10. Laugh. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Enjoy the ride. Presumably, we write because we enjoy it. When you love what you do, nine times out of ten – you’re good at what you do. So, chillax.
  11. Breathe. Not the type of breathing they teach in Lamaze class. I’m talking about Zen breathing techniques.  They work.
  12. Eat light, healthy snacks.  They give you energy.
  13. Hydrate yourself.  Whatever libation works for you.  Despite my many tongue-in-cheek jokes about single malt scotch and fine red wine, I actually drink tons of Earl Grey tea while writing for hours on end.  Getting up to put the kettle on is a great way to stretch your legs.

Hope this helps!

Best of luck,                                                                                                                                    

h.f.t.g.

Image via Itsasmartdecision.com.

Juggling writing time between multiple book projects

Sometimes I think I’ve fallen off that precarious balancing beam – from possessing a modicum of sanity to diving head first into a state of complete and utter madness.  The reason?  I am juggling multiple book projects. Thank goodness I’m compulsively organized, because the only way to handle the work load (without sacrificing creativity) is to compartmentalize my time.

Yes, compartmentalization is the way I am able to maintain my sanity – relatively speaking.  But it would be remiss for me not to mention the occasional help I receive from Mr. Glen Livet and Mr. Mac Allan!

h.f.t.g. taking some quiet “me” time with Mr. Mac Allan
and enjoying a stogie, in between intense writing sessions

(Note: the photographer is also partaking in some libation!) 

So, here’s the plan. As mentioned in my inaugural blog post, “Finding Grace” (the Novel) is set for release sometime in 2013.  In tandem, I’m writing a series of four non-fiction books targeted to the Baby Boomer generation.  I’m a quarter of the way through the first, entitled “When The Child Becomes The Parent,”  and am hoping to release this book by the end of 2012 (fingers crossed).  By setting an aggressive schedule, I’m putting a lot of pressure on myself – in an effort to battle my most dreaded enemy: Procrastination.

Here’s a sneak peek of the book summary (which will be located in the  book’s inside left flap) – as well as  the book cover design:

“We are the Baby Boomer Generation. That makes us forty-something, fifty-something and sixty-something.  Our parents and beloved aunts or uncles are in their twilight years. They need our help. The measure of a person is the degree to which she treats her fellow men and women with respect, kindness, compassion and – to those close – love.   Why do we all too often forget to tender the same treatment to our elderly? They are supposed to be our nearest and dearest. They gave us Life!  The child must now step up to the plate and become the parent.  

No one wants to reach the end of life’s journey and suddenly become a burden to their family or friends.  Perhaps we might find it helpful to see the world from their perspective and accord them the dignity they so rightly deserve.  Perhaps we should not be so overwhelmed or impatient with them and maybe we should shift our fear-of-aging mindset a bit.  After all, shouldn’t we consider it a privilege to help them through this final chapter of their lives?

This is a gentle guide on how to care for the elderly loved ones in your family – from home care to hospice care to preparing for death.  The author will also share stories about some of her own experiences – both deeply sad and delightfully humorous.

She is fifty-something, by the way and, yes, a Baby Boomer.”

Copyright © 2010-2011 Heather Joan Marinos – All Rights Reserved.

— To all the writers out there who are juggling multiple book projects – courage, my friends!  We will all complete our books and, once we do, we will very likely move onto the next project.  Are we masochists? No. We simply love what we do.
And that’s a good thing.

Image (top) via Sarparker.com.