Tag Archives: Steve Maraboli

heatherfromthegrove’s New Year’s Revelation No 3 of 7: Let it go

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“Cutting out drama… Healthy mind and body choices… Intent followed by action… Keeping real friends and letting go of the pretends… Livin’ clean for Twenty Seventeen!” 
― Steve Maraboli

“Losing weight” almost always makes the top 5 list for New Year’s resolutions. But here’s a revelation for you: losing weight is more than just pounds and ounces. Physical health aside, most of us carry around a lot of emotional baggage or dead weight. Like a grudge or a misunderstanding or a worry that keeps gnawing at you. Do you know how much time, on average, we spend worrying? Approximately 5 years of our lives, according to a study conducted by UK healthcare provider Benenden Health. 5 years!

Worrywarts of the world (myself included):  Let it go!

And speaking of emotional baggage, how often do we find ourselves on the wrong end of an insult or mean-spirited comment? We spend so much time nursing our hurt feelings, reliving the experience over and over in our minds, while anger and resentment start to fester. Rather than holding on to toxic emotions, simply Let it go!  And steer clear from people who are mean and negative.  There are a lot of haters out there. Let them form their own club. Misery loves company.

And finally, a word to those  who are too hard on themselves. Don’t dwell on past failures or mistakes. That’s simply counterproductive. Learn from them, but don’t let them drag you down. Let it go!

It’s a new year. It’s a new day. Look forward to a fresh start.

I’ll close this post with the lyrics to  (yes, you saw this coming, didn’t you?)….  Let It Go!  If you click on the title below, you can sing along with Idina Menzel as she belts out this Disney blockbuster song.

Let It Go  (from Disney’s “Frozen“)
The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen.
A kingdom of isolation,
and it looks like I’m the Queen
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn’t keep it in;
Heaven knows I’ve tried
Don’t let them in,
don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel,
don’t let them know
Well now they know
Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don’t care
what they’re going to say
Let the storm rage on.
The cold never bothered me anyway
It’s funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can’t get to me at all
It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me,
I’m free!
Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You’ll never see me cry
Here I stand
And here I’ll stay
Let the storm rage on
My power flurries through the air into the ground
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I’m never going back, the past is in the past
Let it go, let it go
And I’ll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone
Here I stand
In the light of day
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway!

Song Written by: Robert Lopez Kristen Anderson-Lopez, Emanuel Kiriakou
Song Published by: Lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., Walt Disney Music Company

 

heatherfromthegrove’s New Year’s Revelation No 5 of 7: Beyond the olive branch

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“Family quarrels are bitter things. They don’t go according to any rules. They’re not like aches or wounds, they’re more like splits in the skin that won’t heal because there’s not enough material.”    

– F. Scott Fitzgerald

Why can’t we all just get along?

People have been warring since the beginning of time. Tribes. Religious sects. Nations.

And, yes, families.

As I said a few days back, “It all begins and ends with Family.” How can we expect nations to coexist in peace and harmony when many of us can’t even manage to keep our families intact?

There are so many stressors that lead to family conflict: financial problems, joblessness, addiction, illness, death, inheritance and even something as basic as incompatible and/or strong personalities. It is healthy and normal to argue, debate and occasionally fight.  It is unhealthy and hateful to harm others – physically, emotionally, in their business and their reputation within society.

Problems rarely, if ever, solve themselves. Resolution (to problems) usually requires compromise, which inevitably results in loss (i.e. giving something up, to keep the peace).  If  there is love, respect and a willingness to work through the conflict – because of a deep-seated desire to keep the family together – then there is hope.  Sometimes an outside mediator, such as a therapist, counsellor or spiritual guide (i.e. priest/minister/rabbi/imam) may be needed to assist with the process of resolution and reconciliation.  Hopefully, the conflict gets resolved… without too much collateral damage.

“Problems are like washing machines. They twist us, spin us and knock us around but in the end we come out cleaner, brighter and better than before.”    

– Unknown

But what if we can’t all just get along? Not now. Not ever. It happens all the time.  Parents divorce. Children leave home for good, pledging never to return. Siblings each go their own way, losing all communication with each other. Family members become estranged. It’s sad, even tragic, when that happens.

I don’t have any answers. What I do know for sure is that family is fundamental to our well-being.  That said, for family to coexist as a united and loving unit… each and every family member must want it to be so.  Some people need time, space and distance to gain perspective and eventually reunite.

Alas, there are some families so fractured that they are beyond the olive branch.

And everyone moves on – each going his/her separate way.

Sometimes it’s for the better.

“Sometimes problems don’t require a solution to solve them; instead they require maturity to outgrow them.”    

– Steve Maraboli

Some Book Recommendations:

Peace Catalysts: Resolving Conflict in Our Families, Organizations and Communities – by Rick Love

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Mom Always Liked You Best: A Guide for Resolving Family Feuds, Inheritance Battles & Eldercare Crises – Arline Kardasis and Rikk Larsen

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*Note: The title of today’s Blog – “Beyond the olive branch” – is the title of Volume 4 in my Baby Boomer Series™ of books (in progress

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

 

 

New Year’s Revelation No. 4 of 7: Be comfortable in your own skin

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“The moment will arrive when you are comfortable with who you are, and what you are– bald or old or fat or poor, successful or struggling- when you don’t feel the need to apologize for anything or to deny anything. To be comfortable in your own skin is the beginning of strength.” 
― Charles B. Handy

At what point in our lives can we say that we are truly comfortable in our own skin?

Are we ever content with who we are and what we are, or do we spend our lives striving for  perfection?

Is perfection really attainable, or is it an illusion?

Does  the continual quest for perfection set us up for failure?

What is perfection?

Perfection is, of course,  subjective.  

For example, a successful billionaire may live a lifestyle that  ― to the rest of us ― appears to be a wonderful fairytale existence but, if asked the question “Are you comfortable with who and what you are?”…  he may  surprise us all by saying “No. My life is too complicated, too demanding. I’d rather live by myself on a houseboat, with a collection of good books, some jazz CDs, a well-stocked bar filled with single malt scotch, and a stash of Cuban cigars.”

It is one thing to try to be the best that we can be.  It is quite another to seek something that, for one reason or another, will never happen.

There are people who spend their whole lives chasing dreams that they’re not suited for and can never realize… like the person who wants to be a dancer, but has two left feet or an aspiring opera singer who can’t hold a tune. Rather than focusing on what they can do, they are obsessed with an illusion.  They set themselves up for failure, and unhappiness.

Being happy and content with who we are and what we are does not necessarily mean that we’re complacent or stagnant.  There’s always room for improvement.  We should always be flexible enough to welcome change.

We are human.  Therefore, we are flawed and imperfect.  We strive to be the best we can be, to live the best life we can possibly live. Our life experiences and relationships help to form who and what we are.  The point in our lives when we can say we are truly comfortable in our own skin varies from individual to individual.

Personally, I am pretty comfortable in my own skin. I have no illusions. I know my strengths and my flaws.  Some flaws are part of who I am, and I embrace them.  Other flaws still need some adjustment.  As for what and where I am ― at this moment in time ― I’m not there yet, but I know I’m moving in the right direction. I’ll get there, eventually.

How about you?  Are you comfortable in your own skin?

“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.” 
― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

I love this quote by Steve Maraboli.  I’ll add one of my own, taken from my blog post back in April 2012 ― “The Story of Your Face“ ….

“When you stand back and look at someone, really, carefully, you’ll notice that her (or his) face tells a story.  It’s the story of a life — well-lived or not, beset with tragedies or joys.  A roller-coaster of experiences that can be discerned in every laugh wrinkle, frown line, deeply-etched pain crease and sometimes, like a surprise rainbow, a dimpled cheek followed by lots of  )))).

Every line across your face tells a story. Mine certainly does.  If you look very carefully.

Don’t erase those lines.  Despite the latest beauty fads or what the trendy plastic gurus babble on about, your lines are beautiful.

After all, they’re who you are.” 

— Heather Joan Marinos, heatherfromthegrove blog post “The Story of Your Face“

Cheers,

heatherfromthegrove

Photo via justjennee.com.

Never on a Sunday

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Greek Actress, Melina Mercouri (Movie “Never on a Sunday“)

 “Relax. Refresh. Renew. Play. Sing. Laugh. Enjoy. Forgive. Dance. Love. Hug. Share. Kiss. Create. Explore. Hope. Listen. Dare. Trust. Dream. Learn. TODAY!”

― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience