From sea to shining sea

Seven years ago today, at sunset, the ashes of my mother and my aunt were scattered at sea.  It was a misty evening — with fog and rough waters.  Having grown up by the sea, it was the final request of each sister — with the hope that the waves would guide their ashes from the Atlantic shores of their adopted country to the land of their birth, along their beloved azure Mediterranean coast.

They are deeply missed, but we know — deep in our hearts — that they are Home … and at peace.

“As we return to the earth and sea from whence we came, Divine Creator of all in heaven and on earth, we bring before you these last earthly remains, returned to you, to do with as you will, and to set free for all eternity; and to remind us that forever they shall live in the wind and the waves and on the earth in substance. 

Even though the spirit is already with you, we ask that you receive these ashes of the one that you created, that you might create again from them life anew.”

— Prayer for Scattering

To Listen (and really Hear)

A few days ago, I spoke about how (as we age) we become more appreciative of our five senses.   Although the senses of sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch are — in each their own way — unique and valuable, one stands out above the rest :  Hearing.  

Now, I am not speaking literally (i.e. hearing a sound). If I were being literal, I would give first priority to the physical ability to see.

But, I am speaking metaphysically.  

I am keenly fascinated by Taoist philosophy. Taoism (modernly referred to as Daoism, which is a more accurate English pronunciation of the Chinese word) is an ancient Chinese philosophy and religion whose core belief centers upon the Tao (also referred to as Dao).  Tao means the Way (or Path) … the underlying law of the universe.  Tao is not God, nor is it worshipped.  It is a religious philosophy of  unity and opposites:  Yin and Yang — where the universe is composed of complementary opposites like  dark and light, hot and cold, action and inaction, feminine and masculine.  Harmony or unity with nature, self-development,  the pursuit of spiritual immortality, and living a virtuous (humbly so) life — these are  the basic tenets of Taoism.

The theory of Yin and Yang is also central to all Oriental health practices. And, the root of all health is Ch’i.  In his book “The Book of Ch’i: Harnessing the Healing Force of Energy,” author Paul Wildish writes:

“Ch’i is “breath,” it is the air that we breathe and at the same moment the energy and vitality that sustain us.  Everything we see, or touch, or experience is composed of ch’i and is merely an arrangement of this energy into recognizable form.  It is a concept comparable to the explanation of quantum physics for the structure of atoms and molecules as accumulations of energy organized into distinct patterns.  Our whole existence is determined by this energy.  All facets of human life, our physical health, mental alertness, and emotional stability are conditioned by the levels and the relative flow of ch’i in and around our bodies.  Summoning, conserving, and using ch’i therefore is vital to maintaining a happy and healthy life  …. Ch’i operates through the bipolar dynamic of yin and yang, in a constant process of transmutation.  When we breathe in it is yin and when we breathe out it is yang … Good health is founded on establishing a natural cyclic equilibrium of these two forces.”

So, now you understand where I’m coming from when I say that “I am speaking metaphysically.”  I view the importance of the senses (notably the sense of “hearing”) as harmonizing with nature and thus contributing to our quest for self-development.

The 6th century Chinese philosopher (also known as the Father of Taoism) Lao Tzu (“Old Sage”) best articulates what I am trying to say about the importance of listening (and really hearing):

“It is hard to hear anything when you are doing the talking. Appreciate the value of silence, listen to the world around you and gain understanding from the insights it offers. “

In my reality, as perhaps in yours as well, this may mean listening to someone (be it friend, family or even a stranger) who needs a sounding board, a compassionate ear.  Or, it may be someone who wants you to go beyond listening, to really hear what he is trying to say (although he is not speaking).  In this case, you have to hear what his silence is telling you.  And then, understand.

Aye, there’s the rub.

Images via sheknows.com  and fertility-health.com.

Summer reveries …

As a child, I used  to love those quiet summer days when I’d lie down on the grass and gaze up at the sky, marvelling at its perfection.  I’d close my eyes and feel the sun’s warmth on my skin, and listen to the gentle rustling of leaves from the large oak tree nearby.  I would lie there for hours, as midday became late afternoon.  Sometimes the weather would shift, surprising me, bringing with it a new set of  sensory delights. Mesmerized by the different cotton ball shapes, I’d track the movement of the clouds as the warm summer breeze caressed my face and I waited in anticipation for what was sure to come next:  the sun shower.  I’d laugh out loud as the raindrops tickled my skin, and stick my tongue out to taste the drops.  Before I could count the minutes, the shower stopped, leaving behind the fresh smell of rain. Then it was time for me to go inside for tea time with my mother. I’d jump up, shake the grass off, and — with the hint of a smile on my lips — I’d leave my peaceful afternoon reverie behind. There would be more summer days like that.  Plenty more.

Although those sweet childhood days have long since gone, I still enjoy summer days like that.  In youth, we take much for granted — not at all concerned about the passage of Time.  As we age, we become acutely aware of how precious each and every moment is.  We are grateful for each and every sense that we are blessed with. It becomes more important for us to look (and really see)  the beauty all around us, to listen to (and truly hear) the sounds that make us smile,  to breathe in and smell that first summer rain, to taste and savour a freshly picked apple, and to touch  the hand of a loved one (like it was the first and may possibly be the last time)

To live life as if Today is all we have, is to savour and love each and every minute.

Don’t put it off until tomorrow. 

 

Photo Credit Anita Patterson-Peppers via iStockPhoto.

Balancing time: back to the halcyon days

“The more you sense the rareness and value of your own life, the more you realize that how you use it, how you manifest it, is all your responsibility. We face such a big task, so naturally we sit down for a while.”

Kobun Chino Otogawa Roshi

My greatest challenge is balancing time. With so many book projects — in different stages of development — I sometimes feel overwhelmed.  Experience has taught me that when this feeling washes over me, it’s time to press the “pause” button in my life and switch gears.  So, I put my gardening shoes, hat and gloves on  and then step out into my very own tropical garden.  When I’m pruning, weeding, planting and tending to my herb garden, fruit trees and flowers, I am in another zone.  A zone were mobile phones, emails, LinkedIn and Google do not exist.  This is a time and space when/where I am able to think, imagine, and create — not on paper, but in my mind.  This is a place of peace, of balance.  So, I’ve made some decisions as to how I should balance my time. 

In this country (United States), many people work 24/7.  Some, because they have to and, others, because they want to.  It is very easy to get caught up in that work ethic. Whatever the reason, it is simply not healthy to work continuous long hours, seven days a week.  In many locations around the world (notably, Europe), Sunday is still considered a day of rest. In Israel, Saturday (the Sabbath) is observed as a day of rest.  In the days of yore (pre-1970), North Americans happily left work behind at the end of Friday and prepared to enjoy their weekends (Saturday AND Sunday) with family and friends. 

It is my belief that those were the halcyon days.  Granted, the world is a lot more complicated and intense.   But, and think about this,  does it really have to be?  Do we not have the power to make choices about our own lives?  Can’t we figure out a way to balance work and play, business interaction and family interaction, money and quality of life?  Are they all mutually exclusive?

I think we can strike a balance between all the components of our life, although we may have to choose to let some go.  For example, does little Suzie really need to go to ballet class, Girl Guides, tennis, AND Glee Club?  Shouldn’t two extracurricular activities be enough? I’ve said this many times — to anyone who will listen — we overschedule ourselves and our children.

I, for one,  intend to recalibrate my thinking.  I now refuse to answer business calls during the weekend (yes, Saturday AND Sunday) and after 9 pm on weekdays. On weekends, I will not check LinkedIn or respond to business emails.  I will not do client work on weekends, only my own projects. 

Weekends are for family and friends. No exceptions.  I will go on Facebook and Skype, because that’s how I communicate with family and friends who live miles (and oceans) away. 

So, there you have it.  Back to the 1950’s, but with a 21st century social media twist!

As for Volume 1 (When the Child Becomes the Parent) in my 4-volume Baby Boomer Series, it’s still in progress. Spring has come and gone. I am eye-deep in research.  It will be done when it is done.  Sooner, rather than later.  I’m not getting any younger.

“Writing is not a matter of time, but a matter or of space. If you don’t keep space in your head for writing, you won’t write even if you have the time.” 

— Katerina Stoykova Klemer

Image (stones) via groupsoutdor.com.

Her Eyes Spoke Volumes

Mother-Daughter relationships can be very complex.  Mine was not.  It was, actually, exceedingly simple.  We understood each other and loved each other — unconditionally and without judgement.  Sure, we fought. But, my God, did we laugh … long, loud and often.

My mother had a beautiful singing voice and a dimpled smile. She was tiny (all 4’11” of her), and yet her natural charisma gave her a towering presence.

She spoke with her eyes. We could have complete conversations, she and I, without ever uttering a word.

Her Eyes

by VALARIE M. SHEA
Gone are the eyes that watched me grow
The eyes that were able to see into my soul
Together we climbed mountains and made it through the pain
Only to find out that someday it would be forever changed
As you’ve gotten weaker, I’ve gotten stronger
Able to take care of myself even though I didn’t want to

You’d be proud of my wit, my confidence and my charm
People say I’m just like you and I know all about your charms
The eyes are in my heart, the eyes that saw my soul
But gone are the beautiful eyes, the eyes that watched me grow

Not a day goes by without me remembering her eyes.

When I look into the mirror, there they are.

MUM2

Evelyn Formosa Blundell (née Alamango Cook)

March 9, 1926 – June 19, 2005

Gone, but definitely Not forgotten.

R.I.P.

If I could be anywhere, where would I be?

I’d be in Africa.  For at least two decades now, I’ve wanted to explore this vast and, in many parts, still untamed continent. Not just for a brief visit, but perhaps for a year or two. I’d want to spend time observing and writing about the awe-inspiring work that the dedicated men and women from Doctors Without Borders do, or the selfless missionaries who spend their days helping those who can’t help themselves.

I imagine the wide open spaces, vistas where magnificent wild animals roam free, and the ever-present yin and yang  — horror and beauty, violence and serenity, the looming undertow of all that is uncivilized – masked by an outward appearance of all things “civilized.” 

Africa, a land of contrasts, is where I would be — if I could.

And, one day, I will.

There are so many passionate poems about  Africa and here’s one that I thought I’d share with you (by Zulu poet, LLM Mbatha) :

I Have A Dream Of An Africa

I have a dream of an Africa
A united Africa! 
Self sustaining and self-reliant
Able to produce 
Anything out of nothing
And trade within her-self
And with the world at large
A proud Africa 
Of a civilizing people
Like our Egyptian, and
Olmec ancestors…
I dream of an Africa that 
Patrice Lumumba died for
Kwame Nkrumah stood up for 
Nelson Mandela paid dearly for
An Africa of Haile Selasie I
An Africa of GIANTS
Where men are great, proud and dignified
An Africa of Cleopatra, Maqeda, Nzingha and Nyamazana
An Africa without genocide, starvation, or disease
An Africa, without dictators! 
A free Africa
Taking on the driver’s seat 
Teaching without enslaving
To show the world it’s possible! 
No refugees because
All the Children belong! 
An Africa, a Mother Land
Where an elephant 
Feeds from the Elephant Tree
And the gorilla roams free
And the lion goes to hunt
If he wants
Because God loved him to! 
An Africa that
Bhambatha (ka Mancinza) 
Sobukwe (Robert) 
Fanon (Frantz) 
Biko (Steve) 
X (Malcolm) 
Garvey (Marcus) 
And Douglas (Frederick) 
Would look at and smile about
I have a dream of an Africa
But from this one, I shall not wake
Because I dream standing up
My eyes looking out
My arms open wide
To the ones, mad enough, to dream the same 

~ by LLM Mbatha

 

Image via thesummerlad.com.

The Story of Your Face

lines

When you stand back and look at someone, really, really carefully, you’ll notice that her (or his) face tells a story.  It’s the story of a life — well-lived or not, beset with tragedies or joys.  A roller-coaster of experiences that can be discerned in every laugh wrinkle, frown line, deeply-etched pain crease and sometimes, like a surprise rainbow, a dimpled cheek followed by lots of  )))).

Every line across your face tells a story. Mine certainly does.  If you look very carefully.  And, like every good story, you need to share it with someone.  Someone who understands, who sees you, hears you, who’s been there with you — during the best of times and the worst of times.  Someone who shares a history with you.  

Never underestimate the power of many decades of shared history.  It’s one of the secret ingredients to a relationship’s longevity and solidarity. 

As we face life’s challenges, it’s important to have at least one such person stand beside you.

I am deeply grateful that I have one. He happens to be the person I most respect on this planet.

Before you hit the “Play” button on Brandi Carlile’s beautiful rock ballad (“The Story”), I want to say — once again — that the lines across your face tell a story.  Don’t erase those lines.  Despite the latest beauty fads or what the trendy plastic gurus babble on about,  your lines are beautiful.

After all, they’re who you are.  

Και η ιστορία συνεχίζεται, αγάπη μου.   Αυτό το τραγούδι είναι για σας.

Photo (top) of  me at a seaside restaurant in Vouliagmeni (Athens, Greece, July 2007). 

Ideas lost in shades of grey …

Photo Credit: K.R. Deepak

“However vague they are, dreams have a way of concealing themselves and leave us no peace until they are translated into reality, like seeds germinating underground, sure to sprout in their search for the sunlight.” 

~ Lin Yutang  (b.1895 – d.1976) – Chinese writer and inventor.

Have you ever thought  of a brilliant idea in your sleep, only to wake up and  find that you can’t remember it?

I hate it when that happens!

Last night, a few really good ideas for one of my chapters came to me and, being a light sleeper, I should have had the sense to wake up and jot them down but …. no, I decided to go back to sleep!

And now, for the life of me, I can’t bloody well remember them!

I’ve been wracking my brain, trying to retrace my thoughts ….

… still drawing a blank.

Maybe they’ll come back to me again tonight. Fingers crossed.

So this begs the question: Why does this happen? Why? WHY?

Is it because we:

  1. are sleep-deprived?
  2. suffer from too much stress?
  3. don’t meditate enough?
  4. lack vitamins?
  5. don’t eat enough seafood?
  6. are growing old (er)?

It could be any one, a combination, or all of the above.

As I’ve said many times before (maybe one day I’ll take my own advice!), the recipe for a healthy mind, body and spirit lies in one, simple practice:   Balance.

“We have overstretched our personal boundaries and forgotten that true happiness comes from living an authentic life fueled with a sense of purpose and balance.”   

~ Dr. Kathleen Hall, Author and Stress Expert

When we maintain a balanced life, we operate at peak level.  Our minds are stimulated. We think well and sleep well. We dream. And, amazingly, we recall/remember.  Here are a few tried and true tips to achieve Balance:

  1. Rest. Insomniacs are not able to function optimally. The brain needs to rest, in order to operate at its best.
  2. Meditate. Take a break and relax the mind. Gather our thoughts. Sit in silence. Regroup. This will bring us clarity of thought and completely re-energize us.
  3. Exercise. Do not omit this step! The process is simple:  cardiovascular exercise → improves blood flow to the brain → thus optimizing brain function.
  4. Eat healthy.  And, do NOT skip breakfast. Nuts (unless allergic), fresh fruit, green veggies and, yes, fish!
  5. Reduce your alcohol consumption.  Especially two hours before we sleep.  Alcohol is a depressant and it slows down/impairs mental function.
  6. Turn off the tellie (TV)! It’s a brain drain and, for the most part, a waste of valuable time.
  7. Stop relying on gadgets and exercise our minds.  Do we really need to use a calculator for simple math?  Do we really need to use the GPS every time?  Isn’t it fun and adventurous to discover a new place … by chance?
  8. Read a good book.  Reading helps us process ideas and thoughts.  It stimulates the imagination.
  9. Laugh and laugh often. Laughter is a great tonic for the brain and the spirit. Blood pressure goes down, and the “feel-good” endorphins flow to the brain.  Play the song  I Love to Laugh (from Mary Poppins) – remember that one? Laughter is infectious … in a good way!

On that note,  I shall go and fetch my notebook.  I just remembered the ideas and need to jot them down, lest I forget again!

 

Image via thehindu.com.

Today, Greeks Around the World Celebrate Orthodox Easter – Καλό Πάσχα! Happy Easter!

 

 

 

Χριστός ανέστη εκ νεκρών, θανάτω θάνατον πατήσας, και τοις εν τοις μνήμασι ζωήν χαρισάμενος.

Christos Anesti ek nekron, thanato thanaton patisas, kai tis en tis mnimasi zoin harisamenos.

Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death, and to those in the tombs, granting life.

To all my Greek family and friends, and to all who are celebrating Orthodox Easter today, Happy Easter and enjoy your feast!

Στην υγειά μας! Stin iyá mas! Cheers! 

heatherfromthegrove

 

 

 

A Writer’s Primer on Fitness and Ergonometry

I am by no means a fitness guru, although — once upon a time — I did have a 24-inch waist and could sit (effortlessly) in the lotus position with perfect posture.

Once upon a time.

The ravages of time and (admittedly) neglect have taken their toll.  It wasn’t an overnight transformation, and there were definitely plenty of warning signs.

My mother always used to say: “Where there’s life, there’s hope.”  Modern day translation:  “As long as we’re still breathing,  we can do damage control!”  We can’t turn the clock back, but we can certainly turn things around — for the better. 

Our bodies speak to us. Sometimes the messages are subtle, like a slightly stiff neck, a tingling sensation in the hands, or a split-second numbness in the feet.  Often (too often) we shrug them off, until our bodies send us more urgent signals like swollen legs, severe back pain/spasms, insomnia, and shortness of breath or even arrhythmia (irregular heartbeat).  These messages and signals, if unheeded, may possibly lead to a deterioration in health, mobility, and lifestyle — or worse.

Listen to your body.  Try to be proactive. Get out of the chair, stretch and move around. A sedentary lifestyle is a prescription for poor health.

“We are under exercised as a nation. We look instead of play. We ride instead of walk. Our existence deprives us of the minimum of physical activity essential for healthy living.”

~ John F. Kennedy (b.1917 – d.1963)  — 35th President of the United States – In office from January 20, 1961 – November 22, 1963

As writers (and, indeed, anyone who spends 8+ hours per day sitting in front of a computer), we face several “occupational hazards.”  We sit for prolonged periods of time (especially when the creative juices are flowing) and, more often than not, our backs are crouched and tense, our hands are curled over the keyboard (when not clutching the mouse). Sometimes we squint at the screen, because it’s either too bright or we lost track of the time and forgot to turn the light on (which happens to me very, very frequently when I’m caught up in an intense writing spurt).  Knees are bent and legs are in the same position for hours on end. I have a nasty habit of placing one foot over the other – and leaving it there.  It’s easy to forget to take a break, to have a bite to eat or drink a glass of something refreshing – like water, juice or tea.

“Intellectual tasting of life will not supersede muscular activity.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson (b.1803 – d.1882) — American essayist, champion of individualism, lecturer, and poet

Yes, we need to move our muscles, so that we can be mentally alert, energized, and physically able to continue doing what we love to do … write.

Fitness 101 for Writers

Invest in a good chair. The two tools that a writer should not scrimp on is (a) a computer and (b)  a chair.  Your writing chair should have the right amount of cushion, back support, and adjustability (for height). There are some superbly ergonomic chairs on the market —  designed specifically for writers and computer users.  More on that  further on in this post.

Minimize eye strain. Place the monitor directly in front of you (so you don’t have to turn your head). The top of the monitor should be directly in front of your eyes, at a distance of 18-24 inches. Reduce the screen glare and adjust the brightness/contrast. Periodically look away from the screen and focus your eyes on something else. Consult your ophthalmologist and/or optician, should you encounter any problems with your vision.

Maintain good posture. It’s all a matter of simple geometry. Specifically, right angles (90°): feet and lower legs (at ankles) must be 90°; lower legs and thighs (at knees) must be 90°; buttocks and back (at hips/waist) must be 90°; lower arms and upper arms (at elbows) must be 90°.  If your elbows aren’t on a 90° angle, this means that your desk is too high.  Simply adjust the chair height.  Do not slump your back!!!

Take care of your hands. Carpal Tunnel Syndrome is, according to the  Mayo Clinic (.com)“a progressively painful hand and arm condition caused by a pinched nerve in your wrist.”  Take a break from time to time. Typing continuously will have an adverse effect on your hand and wrist. Do finger and wrist exercises.  Move your fingers, do wrist stretches and rub (massage) your palms.

Use a timer. When you’re “on a roll,” it’s easy to get lost in your writing and forget that you need to move and stretch your muscles.  Why not set a timer/alarm every hour, to remind you that you need to get up and walk around for a bit, just to get that circulation going once again.

Exercise at your desk. If you’re feeling a little numb or stiff, consider doing some stretching exercises right at your desk.  Do neck rolls; loosen your hands with circular motions – clockwise, and then counter-clockwise; shrug your shoulders and release, then repeat (loosens neck and shoulders); do torso twists, and leg extensions

Take a break! If you can, break up your time with a walk (or run) outside. Maybe you could do an impromptu yoga or pilates session.  If you don’t want to lose your writing mojo, you may want to consider carrying a voice recorder with you. Remember to eat and, repeat after me, “Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!”  

 

Ergonometry 101 for Writers

When we use the word “ergonomics,”  we are referring to “the applied science of equipment design, as for the workplace, intended to maximize productivity by reducing operator fatigue and discomfort.” And, if anything reduces user fatigue or discomfort, it’s an ergonomic chair!

This is the Ergohuman V2 Chair V200HRBLK  – High Back with Black Frame and Mesh. This chair also comes in either leather or fabric.

Need I say more? 

One final word about exercise.  Running is not for everyone.  Walking is always a good thing. But, if you want to boost your spirit (as well as your fitness level), grab your nearest and dearest …. and dance!  You’ll be rejuvenated and ready to write that next chapter … !

Note:  Before commencing any physical exercise or fitness program, please consult your physician.

Images via bodyandsoul.com.au, brainmass.com, ergonomics-info.com, and ergohuman.com.