Tag Archives: Friends

A perspective on life and loss

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Recent political developments in the United States have caused quite a stir across the globe.  Social media is flooded with comments and rantings from both sides of the political spectrum. I myself have contributed to this “animated” discussion. But when someone (be it a friend or a family member) passes away in the middle of all the histrionics, everything screeches to a halt. It’s amazing how quickly we re-align our priorities…. because, at the end of the day, it’s family and friends that really count the most.

There will be other elections. Other presidents. What is done in one term can be undone in another. So, let’s chill out and focus on what really matters.

This post is dedicated to all of our loved ones who have gone too soon. And to the families and friends who are left behind to grieve their loss.

I love the poetry and writings of Kahlil Gibran and I always take the wisdom of his words to heart.

I hope you do, too.

On Death
by Kahlil Gibran

You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.

In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

Life Is Precious

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“This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind…let it be something good.”    ― Author Unknown

Life is precious.

Our journey in life is finite, which is why it’s so important to appreciate each day, to savor what we have and whom we surround ourselves with.  A sunny day, a fresh rainfall, the sound of trees swaying in a summer breeze… these are the things we sometimes take for granted.

Here today, gone tomorrow.

I have a handful of friends and family members who wake up each morning, prepared to fight the battle of their lives, just so they can live another day… be with the people they love, do the things they most enjoy.  Their enemy? Cancer.  These people have become warriors and their  spirits shine through their resolve.  They are acutely aware of  how truly precious life is.

Recently, a colleague was diagnosed with Stage II Parkinson’s Disease.  This diagnosis has rocked his world…  and not in a good way.  Suddenly, the time he thought he had ― to do the things he needed and wanted to do ― has been ripped away from him.  A man who is always in control now finds himself out of control.  He is scrambling to reprioritize and to figure out how to prolong the inevitable.  And he makes sure to tell his children, each day, how much he loves them.

Yesterday, we (my husband and I) received shocking news that a former colleague had died this past December ― of ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease).  He was a good, vibrant, intelligent man.  His wife and two children, family and loads of friends mourn his loss.

Yes, life is precious.

Don’t waste one singular moment.

“I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.”     ― Jack London, American Author

 

The Ides of March and lessons learned

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MayaAngelou

(Photo Credit: Dwight Carter)

And so I will, Maya.

For me, the month of March came in like a lion and crisis management skills were put to the test…

… until the 26th, when a ceasefire occurred.  Someone or something (you may call it God, The Universe, Fate, spirits of loved ones long since gone,  or simply the natural order of things) pressed the “Pause” button. A feral cat that I’d been nurturing at home, gave birth to a litter of four healthy kittens.  A kitten (only 11 months old) herself having kittens.

There’s a lesson that I want to share, so stay with me… this is not one of my Catmania stories (I’ll save those for another time!).

I made an assumption about this kitten (“Ophie” –  short for Ophelia… think Hamlet).  Because she is still very kitten-like (behaviorally), I was certain that her youth and inexperience would cause her to mishandle the birthing process and that she would either abandon, mishandle or harm her litter.

I was so wrong.

With luminous eyes and soft whimpers, she gave birth to each kitten and knew exactly what to do and how to do it.  Her natural mother’s instinct kicked into full gear and this kitten became a diligent, loving mother. To see her, you’d never guess that this was her first litter. I was filled with awe. Still am.

It made me think long and hard (this is where the lesson comes in) and I realized that some of the recent crises in my life have skewed my perspective… and not in a good way.  Too often, these days, I assume that the worst will happen, rather than the best (or at least, the “better”).  I’ve always been a worry wart, but I’ve taken it to new levels and perhaps this attracts more negative energy, thus creating more problems, more crises, and more drama.

Clearly, someone or something thought that I needed an “Aha” moment.

Point taken.

And so, I share this lesson with all of you.

As a very wise friend of mine often reminds me…  “Everything is going to be okay.”

Maybe it’s time to believe it.

I am grateful that March is going out like a lamb.

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Ophie (Ophelia) and her babies (Photo Credit: Heather Joan Marinos)

 

for Auld Lang Syne

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♦ ♦ ♦ By John Masey Wright (1777–1866, artist) John Rogers (c. 1808-c. 1888, engraver) Adam Cuerden (1979–, restorationist) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons ♦ ♦ ♦

In previous years, I posted my “for Auld Lang Syne” blogs to commemorate those who have passed away.  This year, however, I decided to make it a celebration of the living —  those dear family, friends and acquaintances who have shared part of our history and who have created memories with us.

These are the people who have laughed and cried with us, played and fought, shared food, drink and stories…  all in good times, and in bad.  Some have come into our lives for only a chapter or two, but – wow – we had a blast!  Others have stayed the course.  And, a select few have been there from the beginning and will likely remain until the very end. 

We must bow our heads in fervent, heartfelt appreciation for each and every one of them.

This beloved Scottish poem,  written by Robert Burns in 1788 and now a traditional folk song that many of us play (and sing along to) when ushering in a New Year at the stroke of midnight, is really about these “auld acquaintances” whom we shall never forget.  We celebrate them (and us)… for old time’s sake.  Robert Burns (imagine the delightful Scottish burr) articulates the sentiment far better than I:

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and auld lang syne?

CHORUS:

For auld lang syne, my jo,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And surely ye’ll be your pint-stowp!
and surely I’ll be mine! And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We twa hae run about the braes,
and pu’d the gowans fine;
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary fit,
sin auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We twa hae paidl’d i’ the burn,
frae morning sun till dine;
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
sin auld lang syne.

CHORUS

And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere!
and gie’s a hand o’ thine!
And we’ll tak a right gude-willy waught,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS